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Saturday, December 23, 2006 : The Most Amazing Prom with the Corniest Name ' 06. Part 2
Mike says:
I'm moving house, away from it all, away from the city, away from One Utama, away from football, away from my old life. =(

Damnit, just when everything seemed like an arm stretch away (y'know, just a 1 minute walk to the nearest footy park and a 2 minute walk to One Utama, an easy car ride to any friend's crib) in steps the devil to pry you away from everything that was considered blissful with a new bigger house, a new and apparently more secure environment, new neighbours who happen to be my dad's best friends and a new scene every sunset and sunrise (the new house is located in on the slope of a hill, so the sunset and sunrise has got to be beautiful on a clear day. But that also means hor, one land slide will kill us all on the hill. Choy.)

So anyway this shall be my last post from my old house.
May not mean anything to you but hell, this means a shit lot to me.


In my last post I explained how prom night went, and what happened.
But what you readers didn't know was that the fun only really started after prom that night.

But I'm sad to report that Cher went back after prom so you pervs out there can zip up your flies now, because her face isn't going to appear on this post.
Well, maybe just once, but that's only because I care for the horny bastards reading this blog.

Epitome of Beauty...? You guys decide.

Anyway, we (we, as in me, Chiak and a few friends whose names I shall not mention) went clubbing at Ruums after prom.
BTW, it's pronounced "rooms", not "rums". I'm guessing the double 'u' makes it sound Dutch, like Ruud van Nistelrooy or something.

And here's the deal about Ruums, initially we weren't allowed in unless we bought a bottle of rum or gin or something.
But our brovah Kah Seng (our schoolmate who also went to prom with us) then came out, gave one nod to the bouncers, mentioned a few words and our group were allowed in, just like that, with no strings attatched. I had to admit, that was so cool.

Ok, here's something juicy about Ruums, from where I sat, at the VIP lounge overlooking the dance floor (gotta thank Kah Seng for that), I could see a bald seemingly man in sunnies, wearing a singlet, with a fanny pack pouch around his waist standing on an elevated platform smiling at the crowd.
So anyway listen up, that's not exactly your average stereotype of person who frequents clubs, anyone can tell you that, so my only guess is he was selling drugs.
The fact that he kept pulling out small packs from his fanny pack didn't help change my mind either.

Needless to say I couldn't enjoy my whiskey and coke that night in fear someone would put roofies in my drinks. Paranoid, i know.
Yeah, but anyway clubbing that night was fun, especially with so many friends around.

Next up, Chiak and I crashed at the hotel room of some friends.

Needless to say we didn't get any sleep that night.

What we did do though, was play "Sexy Truth or Dare". Unfortunately folks, what happened in that room stays in that room.
I can tell you, though, it was very gay and I do not wish to go through any details. But fyi, there were girls playing too lah!

After that, the clock struck 5 and we still couldn't sleep so what did we do? We sang, well some of us anyway. Not very fun, I know, but it made us through the night.
Btw, the rest were annoyed. Like, really annoyed til' words cannot discribe how annoyed they were.

Looks comfortable but it's not. Believe me, it's not. They're crashing on a sofa.

When day broke, I was dead tired but still couldn't sleep.
Chiak, Jian Hao and I then found it in ourselves to force our legs to carry our half-dead bodies to a nearby (when I say nearby, I mean bloody far but nearest) mamak for breakfast.

When we got back, we forgot to buy a bottle of water so we were left feeling thirsty in the hotel room.
That's when Jian Hao did the most unforgivable thing, he forced me and Chiak to share the cost of a 1.5 litre bottle of water. Now the normal cost of that is usually like 1.50 to 2 bucks but at the hotel the damn bottle cost us 12 bucks.
So yeahlah, tulan lah.

Harry Potter Jian Hao and the Twelve Dollar Water

At the end of the day, it was a pretty good night out la.
The jokes also could not stop coming that night with Tat Ren being the one we poked fun at most with his Mickey Mouse shirt.

Tat Ren wore a Mickey Mouse t-shirt in front of his friends. This guy knows no fear, man!

... and Kenneth with his jokes about his alter ego, Beauty Man.

Jian Hao and The Beauty Man in his Beauty Suit, in The Beauty Cave!

Ah, good times. Good times.

Oh and btw since i'm moving, I won't have any internet access for the next three to five days or so. So anyone who wants to reach me, call me on my house line.
Sorry la no land line yet, so terpaksa waste that extra cent lor...




Sunday, December 17, 2006 : The Most Amazing Prom with the Corniest Name ' 06. Part 1
Mike says:
I don't feel the constant need to update very often anymore.
For one, I don't think I have many readers at the moment. And for two, all my fellow blogmates are all currently as dormant in blogging as a man with erectile dysfunction in having intercourse.

I mean, put it this way, Skyler's in Amedikah with her ang moh boyfriend, Seng Yau finally got a life ('bout time, dude) and even the popular bloggers are getting boring.
I shall not say who in particular, but you'd probably know who especially if you're a reader of his blog.

Kington remains the only frequent blog mate who seems to have no life and is as loyal a reader to me as a fly is to dog shit.
Thanks for having no life, man. If it weren't for you having no life, I'd have a life right now.
Thanks buddy. =)

Prom night was upon us all last Wednesday.
Yes sir'ee, The 13th of December was the last day most of us would ever see each other again.

But I shall not spoil the happy content with emotional bullshit.

And what better way to get the humour oing than by telling you the theme of our prom night?
Are you ready for this? Twilight Enchantment.
I'll leave you guys with your laughter first before I continue.

Anyway.... Meet my prom date of the night...

Beauty and the Sexy Beast...

That's Cher, and if you're a frequent enough reader of my blog, you'd know she's quite a frequent fixture on my blog as the object of comparison to anything beautiful.
Well, needless to say, she was prettier than anyone on that day. In my opinion, of course.

Wouldn't want to start any rifts with girlfriends or dates of those who were there, would I?

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (compiled into one tall dwarf)

Pretty girl? Sound the alarm!

So Cher and I reached the Renaisscance Hotel at 6.45 pm sharp.
Believe me, we could've been earlier but then hor a certain handsome person forgot our prom tickets and so we had to go back to get it.

But I'm pretty relieved we didn't reach there so early because we were one of the first who got there.

So anyway, cut short to the event, it kicked off with fire eaters doing their thang.
See, the thing about the entertaining fire eaters was the background music- Las Ketchup.
No it wasn't that shit annoying Ketchup Song but it was another annoying so of theirs which name I don't wanna know.

The fire eaters were full by the time they took their last bite of fire.

Anyway the part of it that strikes me most as ironic is the song actually worked very well as the background music to the shirtless fire eaters did nothing but blow fire and scream every so often.

Then came the best part of the event, and believe me, this was as good as it got, unfortunately. Tat Ren, my good man, went on stage and did an unbelievable identical version of Canon Rock.
Now if you don't know what the effing hell is Canon Rock, you've probably been living under a rock for the past 2 years.

Canon Rock happens to be the most popular, and not to mention skillful, guitar video on YouTube by this guy named JerryC.

Sorry lah, I didn't record his performance, but watching this is just as good.

Anyway, later on came the performance of Furniture, a local band.
Now here is where my criticism comes in- I didn't like their performance at all.
It's not because of the music they played but because, quite frankly, the music was too loud to even be heard.

And wtf kind of name is Furniture? They sound like some kind of Jazz band or something.
Anyway, Furniture definately paves the road for even stupider band names in this country, as if the names aren't already bizarre enough.
Think Seven Collar T-Shirt, Flop Poppy, Love Me Butch, John's Mistress etc.
Next time I wanna name my band Scrotum Queens, can?

So then later on came the school band due to perform, but no this time it wasn't Calling Redemption.
Enter a new band, I-dont-know-what-the-name-is-so-i'll-just-call-them-Zikry's-Band.

Suite Chayld O' Maiiiin... but please sing in tune.

They performed Guns n' Roses' Sweet Child of Mine, but like all other local bands to come from the school, the vocalist just seems to spoil the rest of the song.

Next up was the anouncement of Best Dressed Couple which went to Maybelline and Jin Hong.
Then after that came the crowning of The Prom King and Queen of 2006 which went to...
*drum rolls*

Mr Tan Jin Ern and Ms Vineeta Tan.
Guess what? They're brothers and sisters!
Nolah, I'm lying lah but, if you think about it, two Tans winning and another Tan writing about them is a lil scary.

Porn Prom King and Queen 2006

Next up was Calling Redemption.
Except not really.

This time around, the prom committee realised how crap the lead singer was at school events so they decided to scrap half the band and hopefully see if they can deliver a better performance without some members around.
So enter a new look Calling Redemption- everybody leaves cept the lead singer and guitarist.

Nolah, it's just an accoustic performance by Ming Han and his kuli, Amir.

Surprisingly he did reasonably well compared to the last time he performed.
...You know, the time when he caused ear tumor to everybody listening.

Btw you might notice, for the first 1 minute or so, their guitars were out of tune and some people were laughing, but those people who laughed were assholes.

I guess here comes the Xiaxue-esque part of my blog post.
Pictures time!

Man Hunt 2006

My mom says this looks like some picture taken off GQ, can't say I disagree though XD

The dudes of Nyatoh 05'-06'

My Form 1 classmates of 2002 in 2006..

And your pimp of the night...

13 guys and 3 girls, sounds like a sex party that didn't work out as planned.

Woay! Chiak! This is prom, not a wedding leh!

With Khidir and his date... =)

The Goo' Joke Boys... We're Goo' at making Jokes.

And that concludes Part One of the prom post.
Part Two will cover what happened after the ball- where we went, what we did, who we did ;)
Eh, it's pretty long so... stay tuned =)


Saturday, December 09, 2006 : Awesome Number Plate

Mike says:
My birthday party's tonigh =D
It's not my birthday though, so save your b'day wishes til Monday.

Walking back from school to Chiak's house, one day, I noticed one of the coolest numberplates ever.
I mean I'd murder for a number plate like "MKE 7", "SEX 88" or even "WTF 1337".

But this is a whole different story, man. Sure I may not be interested in getting a number plate like this, but this number plate totally owns my favourites anyday.

How amazing is that?!


Wednesday, December 06, 2006 : Guess who's back?

Mike says:
Yes, I'm back to blogging after more than a month on the books.
Sorry to those readers who aren't used to the 1337 language my cousin uses... I know you're not used to seeing leet stuff on my blog, but what to do? My cousin is teh pwnz queenXorZx..
Oh and sorry also for the lack of updating my cousin had been doing.

She, unlike I has a life...

Anyway I'm back to blogging and taking a damn well deserved break from life.
Life as I know it has come to a stand still and I don't give a damn.

Will I be getting a job this holiday? No.
Will I be touching any books or anything attatched to paper this holiday? No.
Will I be going off to college in January? "College"? WTF IS THAT?!
Will I be blogging more? This one's a definite yes.

Ok, so I've been out from blogging in a helluva long time and if there are any readers who read this blog because you care about what's happening in my life, y'know instead of the occasional retarded post here and there, let me start my comeback by giving you people my month in review.


Ok first of all, I'd like to voice my frustration at a certain entertaining football team.

Arsenal play very fluid attacking football, very attractive pass & play and have a good defensive record.
Not to mention the team's a chocload of star quality too.

"You, over there in the stands! STFU"

We (We being Arsenal, not we being me and my balls in a nutshell) have proudly beaten Manchester United and Liverpool this season.
And quite comfortably, in that.

Adebayor FTW!



Anyway, back to my life.

At the beginning of the month, my school had informed us, the students, about their brilliant idea to have a graduation day... on the last day of the week before SPM starts.

Oh good Lord!

You see, the definition of a graduation in my opinion, along with everybody else's, is a student's last ever time setting foot into school...
Well, I'm supposed to sit for my exam the next week so it's not much of a graduation, is it?

Smart asses like the school's headmistress think of everything.

But as we were supposed to wear formal clothes to school for once, instead of our gay-looking uniform, everybody happily obliged because this would be the one day to show everybody else how much style they have.

The three stooges were outnumbered and outclassed on this very day...

Yes, and the fact we were going to wear graduation gowns and mortar boards was also quite a tempting attraction.
Of course, every good thought we had of wearing oversized robes and a square plank on our head were quickly put to sleep when we started feeling the heat- it was pretty damn hot in there with no fans, let alone air conditioning.

The graduating class clowns of 2006

But I guess the day was pretty memorable, to say the least.
Well, not in the sense that I got to see alot of sweaty chicks drenched in sweat, but the fact that I remember that day as the day that I felt alot of gas in my stomache, but somehow could not fart. Period.

It's not that I didn't want to fart because I would be humiliated if I did. Believe me, at that time I wouldn't have given a flying fuck if everybody stared at me, the farting idiot in the corner, but the truth of it all was, I couldn't fart... and that's it.
How uncomfortable do you think that is?

Well if you must know the full story, I did fart in the end. Just not on that day.
Exactly! I didn't fucking fart, or shit, that whole day!
Only in the early hours of the next morning did I let all the fumes out of my cannister. And boy, was my seefuttloong painful after that.


Later during the month, exam pressure hit me like a bloody dictionary over the top of my head.
So hard, in fact, that if you compiled my stress into a container, it would explode.

Uh huh. But SPM's shit.
I study so damn hard eight hours a day on topics that I assume would come out and would be tough to answer. The next day, they ask me stuff that I didn't study, but are easy to answer.

But that's still okay.

That was for math, physics and chemistry.
When it came to biology, I thought I had it in the bag since y'know bio was always my strong subject for science so a little light reading here and there and I would've thought that I covered everything that I needed to cover.
Oh how damn wrong I was.

Now I'll be happy if I even got a B for biology. Bi-o-fucking-logy.


On a brighter note though, I've come to a self-explained conclusion on how the pressure gets to you, depending on your gender.

For the ladies, it's almost as if they have permanent PMS.
Irritate them a lil bit and they'll shoot your head off with a damn AK-47.

Woman under stress= Ugly militant lady + AK-47

Well, not all. But most. If you're not like that, then congratulations, you're minority.
Oh how I hope that my future employer won't be a woman.
I'm not sexist; I'm just scared. Scared out of my quivering scrotum.

For the guys, however, we seem to go a little bit crazy as if we were high on weed and drunk on absinthe or something.

Beware the green fairy that is absinthe...

We tend to do things we've never done before after hitting the books.

For example, I never did like listening to Light n' Easy.
But for about half an hour, I think, hitz.fm was going a little crazy so I tuned in to Light n' Easy and even sang along to Hotel California, not Dani California, and Celine Dion.

...but this is my opinion. If you object, feel free to.
But I warn you, call my anything similar to the term "sexist pig" and I'll burn your house, and every other jamban in a 5km radius.
You don't believe, you try.


After the SPM was over, I happily returned to being a normal slacker again.
I watched the latest 007 and I'm pretty happy to say that Daniel Craig is probably one of the best Bonds yet.

Anyway, I'll be blogging more often so... you readers, come back to mikedotorg.blogspot, where entrtainment is number one!

Oh and by the way, here's something to attract you guys to come. It's a possible list of the next few things I'll blog about.
- Mike and Chiak's birthday bash 2006
- More MDO Viva La Mike
- SMKDU prom night 2006
- A For-Men-Only exclusive post on the hottest chicks around... within your grasp.

So stay tuned ;)
By the way, I'm back..


Friday, December 01, 2006 : Irony
What is irony? This overly-used, much cliche word has been uttered out of most people's mouths just as much as water has flowed into our mouths. Problem with the word "irony" is that we rarely know what it really means. Instead, we use it when things happen... things that we can hardly find words to explain. Or maybe we use it when funny things happen. Like, you buy a top/handphone/shoes and your friend happens to have gotten the exact same one. Same colour. Same material. Same model. Whatever.

So what's with this "irony" business?

Well, I have this "old" handphone. A Nokia 6600. Throughout the two years I have been using it, it has died down on me a few times. But I've never given up on the fella. Thus, I've still been keeping this "soap bar phone" with me. However, about a month plus back, it completely died down on me. Again. I know what the problem is. It is always ALWAYS the same problem - overload of memory, causing it to "hang". Handphones pretty much work like computers, I assume. And when a problem like this happens, the best thing to do is to reformat it.

And so I went to a Nokia shop yesterday, asking the guy how much it would cost to fix this 6600 of mine. The conversation went pretty much like this:

Guy from Nokia (GFN): (After looking at my handphone) This is an old phone. Are you sure you want to have it fixed?

Me: Yes... I've been using it for quite some time and I actually like it.

GFN: It wouldn't be worth fixing it. To reformat it I would charge you RM60.

I was already cursing by then. Sixty bucks to fix MY 6600? No way! In any case, I dropped by at Dr. Mobile Clinic to check with them. They decided that to reformat MY 6600 would cost me RM80.


And so today I went to the Digital Mall in Section 14, hoping that somebody would understand my plea (and my empty, "broken" pocket) and would charge me a minimal amount to reformat MY 6600. I stopped at this shop and the guy took a good look at my phone. He inserted his SIM card into the phone and started his "diagnosis". After much pressing, poking and peering, he shoved the phone to me.

I took a good look at it and saw it being formatted. (Gone were all my files and data)

And right after it was formatted, MY 6600 was fine, up and running again.

I looked up to the guy and asked him, "So how much are you going to charge me?"

He smiled and told me, "Nothing. Just give me back my SIM card."

And that was how I got my 6600 fixed for free.

And that is also what I would call irony. Had I fixed it in the Nokia shop or at the Dr Mobile Clinic, I would've been charged three to six days' worth of meals.

In any case, welcome back 6600.