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Saturday, September 23, 2006 : Things you learn from TV
Mike says:
Oh my freaking ganja!!!! WTF?!
Exams were supposed to be over on Wednesday but due to a leak in the questions, we are scheduled to resit the mothaforking paper AGAIN next week.

So sorry lah, no update in midweek next week too. knnccb school.

Hey people (if there are still people reading my blog, or should I say PERSON?) sorry for the no update, been busy studying and having a little blast from the past in Pokemon.
Yes lah, I've been playing Pokemon again.
But enough on that, I'm not blogging about Pukimon.

So anyway one day I was watching Boston Legal when I realised,
"Oh my God, it's been 7 months since I last watched a drama or comedy show on TV."

Then I started wondering about all the cliches and educational values I've missed out onfor the past seven months. Geez.
Then I thought, why not list down some for your very entertainment...

TV Fact: No good can ever come of looking under the bed at night.
Examples: All horror movies
Conclusion: That's pretty obvious, innit?

Under your bed tonight: Skippy. Tomorrow: Chucky.

TV Fact: Getting into a car alone is always a bad idea.
Examples: Stay Alive, Wax House
Conclusion: Always check the back seat for occupants before getting into your car alone.

Be careful who's behind you in the back seat. It could be a ghost, it could be Tom Cruise- both are equally scary

TV Fact: Taking up a dare to spend the night in a haunted house with some friends usually ends up with half your friends getting killed, and the other half turning on you.
Examples: All horror movies involving a haunted house.
Conclusion: Never take up the dare no matter how much you hate the person daring you to do it, and no matter how good the money is.

When Paris took over, the Hilton hotel chain's popularity just hit a dead end. Everybody wondered why.

TV Fact: When in a tangled web of a murder chain, everybody's a suspect, including the seven year old kid.
Examples: The Omen, Identity
Conclusion: The kid probably did it anyway...

Nolah! How can he be dangerous? You crazy arh?!

TV Fact: If you find a town which looks deserted, it is probably deserted for a damn good reason.
Examples: Beneath Still Water, The Omen
Conclusion: Run, walk, fly, drive- just stay the hell away from that place.

It's a good thing you came in summer; it can get pretty depressing in winter.

TV Fact: If you're a thin funny bloke (like me), your wife's either fat or constantly moody, or both (holy shit).
Examples: My Wife And Kids, Everybody Loves Raymond, Phua Chu Kang
Conclusion: To the guys, don't be a bloody stickpole and eat more.

If I stay slim, my wife will end up like that?!

TV Fact: A couple, made of an overweight guy and a freaking hot wife, will always have hyperactive kids.
Examples: According To Jim, Still Standing, The King of Queens
Conclsuion: Unless you're game, never marry a hot wife if you're fat.

Fat man + Hot woman = 3 Hyper kids

TV Fact: Rich lawyers always get some kind of funny case with a very complicated twist, and never a normal one...
Examples: Ally McBeal, Boston Legal, The Practice
Conclusion: Be a rich lawyer if you never want life to be boring...

Your average succesful weirdos

TV Fact: If a hot girl's dating a stuck up star jock, she usually ends up dumping him for the loser/geek/nerd.
Examples: Napoleon Dynamite (need I say more?), The New Guy
Conclusion: Studying's better than sports, when it comes to getting the girl.

Your chick magnet sign

TV Fact: Roadtrips across the country often invloves meeting "colourful" characters, and lots of sex.
Examples: Road Trip, Eurotrip
Conclusion: Travel more

Some of the colourful characters you may encounter along the way, and if you're lucky you might end up having lots of sex with them...

TV Fact: If you have a fight with your girlfriend or boyfriend in the rain, you always end up having wild illustrious sex with them after you've made up (sometimes you dont even have to make up)
Examples: Daredevil, The Notebook, One Tree Hill
Conclusion: Argue more often when it rains, in the rain...

Even if there's nothing to argue about, just do it. The result is pretty damn worth it. Just ask this couple.

TV Fact: Your company's pretty succesful if your boss is a carefree nut with a sense of humour.
Examples: The Office, Just Shoot Me
Conclusion: If you wanna work, be smart and choose the job, which interview poised a lot of stupid questions.

Your boss ah??


Saturday, September 16, 2006 : Rock Star: Supernova
Mike says:
It's the final week of exams next week, then it's back to the normal blogging routine the week after that.

Now usually I don't like to blog about TV shows, more specifically reality TV shows, because I usually end up telling people what they already know.
I can't exactly share my opinion because it will have no effect whatsoever on the show and people will pass the post off as pointless.

Well that's what I would do anyway.
But the thing I'm so tulan with at the moment is the finale of Rock Star:Supernova.
Ok, to those who have been under the influence of drugs, alcohol, work or exams for the past few months, let me give you a brief intro to the whole series.

Rock Star is simply a talent TV series to get a new lead singer for new (or new look) bands.
Think American Idol plus a band.

But you see, what makes Supernova so much more damn special is they are formed of the guitarist from Guns N Roses- Gilby Clarke, the bassist of Metallica- Jason Newsted and the drummer of Motley Crue- Tommy Lee.

Actually come to think of it, given that Tommy Lee is infamous world wide for his homemade porn video with Pamela Anderson, you'd think porno maniacs would be another inclusion to the Rock Star fanbase.
Hell, you might as well call it Porn Star: Supernova since Tommy Lee's in it.

But I digress...

So one band made out of a trio of rock legends, in search of a new frontman.
I guess if the first season hit it big with INXS, the second season would just blow the world away with Supernova.

So the show starts with fifteen contestants from every part of the world.. or so they claim.
America had nine representitives, Australia had one, Canada had two, South Africa had one (who was also from the Netherlands and Texas..but lets just say South Africa), Iceland had one, Puerto Rico had one, but none from Asia.

Why hor? Scared our gigantic population vote on the sole Asian representitive and send the rest into the bottom three week after week ar?
Must be la...


So anyway, as I mentioned earlier, everybody from every walk of life worldwide was given a chance to vote. That means right, unlike American Idol, we could vote as well!
But also unlike American Idol, it isn't our choice to decide who we want to send out of the competition- it was the judges' who consist of the band (obviously) and Dave Navarro of Red Hot Chilli Poppiah fame.

After two months, the vote was all down to the final four, which the band will handpick themselves without going through the hassle of having a final three, two or one show.

As fate would have it, the final four consisted of one Canadian (Lukas), one Icelandic (Magni), one South African (Dilana) and one Australian (Toby) but no American (HAH!!)

L-R: Lukas, Magni, Toby and Dilana...

But this time unlike the first Rock Star where all four of the final contestants were normal, the second season had to have a man who wears make up and eye liner, and a woman that looks twice her age, and sounds like a cross between Anastascia and David Beckham, in the final four.

Now this is where I'm so damn tulan. I really thought Toby would win.
Either him or Magni.

But did he even at least go into the last two? NO! He went into the BOTTOM TWO together with Magni and both got kicked off, leaving the last two remaining as, yes you guessed it, the make up man and the old woman.

The circus came to town recently...

At this point in the round I was swallowing a bitter pill.
Not only a bitter pill, a jagged edged bitter pill that would enlarge to the size of a balloon when swallowed.

So right now I wasn't hoping for this guy to win or whatsoever, I was bloody wishing the old woman didn't win.
It would've been even better if neither won, but we all know that is never going to happen.

Ok, I give that both are good in their own unique sense- Lukas's original song, Headspin, is addictive, while Dilana did a wonderful rendition of Zombie and Time After Time... but I still think the other 13 would've made much better frontmen.
Plus David Beckham sounds like a woman anyway.

But still tulan!

Eventually, Supernova got the sense kicked into them and realised,
"Wait a minute, we can't have a woman fronting our band because that would tarnish our reputations as rock Gods. Even worse if we can't sleep with her because she looks like my mom and judging by her voice, probably moans like a horse..."

So they chose the better competitor to sleep with front them- Lukas Rossi the make up man.

"Hey lady, what make up is that? I gotta try THAT BRAND next!"

Gee, I knew makeup would win you beauty pageants but I had no idea makeup would win you vocal talent competitions.

So anyway with all the hype of local vocal talent searches in the country (Malaysian Idol, Akedemi Fantasia, One In A Million etc.) I'm going to try my hand and see if I get to win any of them.

But first you have to excuse me, I gotta go raid my mom and sis's make up kits.


Saturday, September 09, 2006 : Goodbye Steve Irwin
Mike says:
I don't get it, I study so hard and yet God seems to hate me by making everything that comes out in the exams everything I don't study.
But I know better than to blame God, so please lah don't evangelise.

What I gotta do now is study hard and smart. Which is almost impossible because I'm not very smart and also because I've never studied hard before.
God help me.

I'm finding it really freaking hard to come up with very interesting things to blog about nowadays.
And no, it's not because I'm out of ideas, but because I'm saving up the really really really good ones til' after my O-Levels (hint hint: more MDO Viva La Mike, my school prom, my birthday bash) but because I'm so caught up with my results and my studies.

So to you readers who've left me because of the lack of humour and ideas in my recent posts, my apologies. Please return on November the 5th to view the all new content of MikeDotOrg.
And to you readers who've stayed faithful to me, thank you so damn much.


Ok, so I've kept you readers in the dark on my recent ankle injury long enough.

The reason? Upon seeing my ankle, the average insane person would feel the urge to grab a baseball bat and start hitting away.
I mean after all, it IS shaped like a damn baseball.

And just so you know, my ankle isn't like that anymore. It's taken three weeks but at least the swell is gone.
Well, it's not exactly gone but it has subsided to the extent that it's not painful anymore, although the size is hardly any different :)

But I reckon it should be another two weeks til I can play footy again :(

So please, put away your baseball bats.
And dude, please put away the golf club.


I dedicate the rest of this post to the one and only great Steve Irwin.
Goodbye forever to my fellow Aussie (yes lah, I may have been born there and stayed there for only a couple of years, but I still partially feel like one) and may you rest forever in peace, mate.

Crikey, we'll miss you Croc Hunter.
Burn in hell, you bitch stingray. I'll be having you and your hamkahchan family for steamboat.


Friday, September 01, 2006 : My Merdeka
Mike says:
Oh damn. My blog's popularity is falling apart. Can't you readers give me some support and continue to contribute your comments? =(
More comments = makes blogging so much more bearable and fun

I don't know about you lot, but I had a terrible Independance Day.
Well, for one I celebrated the eve of Independance at home alone- and I do really mean alone as in noone was online because everyone was out celebrating it.

But that is still okay...
...because I had planned a futsal match the next day between my team The Maniacs, against Forca, the Hawks and some of my Nyatoh classmates.
To make the games even more patriotic, we were to dress our team in our Malaysian cultural colours- red (maniacs), blue (forca), yellow (nyatoh) and white (hawks)

Well, that was my idea, shared with a couple of other guys, before Jae (the captain of Forca) and Les (Hawk's captain) had to pull out because they forgot their teams were scheduled to play each other on the big field that evening (!!!!)

So yeah, I didn't even manage to pass my idea to wear the patriotic colours on to any of them. =(

Stevie G plays for Selangor?

But that is still ok...
...because the game was still gonna commence anyway although not as exciting or patriotic.
But it's still a futsal match nonetheless which is still fun.
So yeah, the 10 of us were still excited.

Then, misfortune struck once again, and Chiak came down with a serious case of food allergy (fucking abelone) and had to pull out. So that meant our group was uneven with 9 people.

LOST: One down with food allergy, nine remain

But that was still ok...
...because Sam* called Nick* to fill in Chiak's gap.
Furthermore, Nick could drive so we didn't have to take a taxi to the futsal court.
Of course I still wanted to take a taxi but since Don and Sam are so kiam siap, I had to bare with their demands.

But the shitty thing was, Nick came 30 minutes late! By then we were already late for the match.
Futsal courts need to be booked, btw. I booked the court from 4 to 5 and it was already 4.20 when he came.

To make things worse...or better... Nick drove his car like a character from Grand Theft Auto.
I mean, of course we got there much faster than we could've but immagine my reaction (think holding on to my seat, door, safety belt and balls) when he cut between two cars on a two lane road.

Grand Theft Auto: Kuala Lumpur

But that is still ok...
... though I would have rather he be 40 minutes late and drive at a normal rate, than be stuck in a damn traffic jam caused by the number of cars waiting to go into One Utama then speeding the rest of the way like the CIA was coming after us.

All in all, we arrived there with only 20 minutes of futsal to play but still had to pay the full price.
You think your Independance Day was good? Well good for you.
You think your Independance Day was shitty, go fuck yourself. Mine was worse!

Oh and btw, it rained cats, dogs, frogs and logs that evening so Forca and Hawks never took to the field either. (!!!!)
*Names were changed to protect my privacy. Just in case these two guys are in trouble with some kind of gang, you won't have to find me for interogation.


Oh btw, with Kennysia and The Star Online coming up with patriotic quizes in conjunction with Independance Day, I thought I'd do something unoriginal and come up with my own quiz.

Unfortunately though, my lack of IT skills and knowledge doesnt allow me to do it here so please come to this page to do my version of the quiz.

...and tell me your results when you're done.