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Saturday, August 26, 2006 : What I Am...
Mike says:
My readership is down. My social popularity is down. My ankle is injured and now swallen like a baseball. How delightful.
What I'm going to do from here, see, is keep my blog alive with something interesting to read probably every week and retain my waining readership...
Then at the end of the year, after SPM, I'm going to explode and let loose writing post after post after post probably once every two or three days. I've got dreams, I tell you...

Anyway hor, my real trials are this week so no update again during midweek. Sorry =(

Ok, in the past people have been doubting my sexuality.
They say I care too much about my hair and take too many pictures to be heterosexual.

Well, why can't you people just accept the fact that I'm metrosexual. There's nothing wrong with that innit?

Anyway I'm coming out about my sexuality. Yes, I am not averagely heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or metrosexual.
I'll tell you what I am right now, since this is a public blog and I recieve at least 10 readers a day ( i think) so I should think it would be fair to them that I tell everyone what I really am...

You ready?

Sure you'll accept this without freaking out?






That's right? How else would you want me to explain posts such as The Mikes and The War On The Nerd?
Photoshop, you say? WTF is that?

Yes, in biology we learn that little microorganisms multiply themselves through mythosis without needing a partner. And that's how I am, asexual...
But no I'm not born with two sexual organs so I can't constantly fuck myself over and over again, so noone is to suggest that because I said it first... B)

Now don't bug me about being straight, crooked, bent, broken or curved inside out anymore.
End of discussion. =D


Tuesday, August 22, 2006 : Double Visions II
Mike says:
Holidays are meant for enjoying yourself.My holidays are meant for studying.

So what do I do? I study and enjoy myself... I've been spending time pressing myself against math questions at the library and grilling myself hard on Biology (although I have no intensions or whatsoever of becoming a doctor or a medical student), while I've also been planning out Amir's wedding to Aida (sorry couldn't resist) birthday and hanging out at One Utama. Life is good...

It's just one of those days where I feel so random and lame... so don't mind me today XD

Remember my super vain post about me and footballer Cristiano Ronaldo a while back in February?
Well, I'm at it again. But this time it isn't about me....

Meet France football player, Vikash Dhorasoo.

Now meet France football fan, Hemaraj.

See the similarities?

You know what, I think they may have been switched at birth...
Or you know what else? Maybe they really just do look alike. Just like how I look like Jay Chou, Orlando Bloom, Cristiano Ronaldo and Chad Michael Murray all in one. = O


On another note though, check out my spankin new background =D
Some of you complained about the fact that my background was a lil too bright and bitchy to the eyes. Well, I guess you could say I fixed that and what you may noticed different this time around is that little extra design at the bottom right corner of the screen.

That, my friend, is a silhouette of one of Michaelangelo's great sculptures.
If you believed that, then you confirmed one of the stupidest zygots ever created. But then again, that qualifies you to be my reader, so here have a cookie =D

Sorry i digress, but as vain as it seems that is a 2 Dimensional picture of me.
What am I doing?

Well, I'll leave that all up to your immagination.
I could be,
a) Deep in thought
b) Sitting on the john, constipated
c) Praying to the Almighty One above
d) Playing turkey

The immagination is a very wide process. You might want to think hard on your opinion.
But it's all up to you.

Personally I think I am playing Turkey =D



Friday, August 18, 2006 : Some things you miss...
Mike says:
The trials are over! As a reward, we have been given a week of holidays to refresh our minds and study.
But then hor, when we go back to school, it's exams again... Another bloody two weeks...
Oh man, I hate this year!

This is yet another post about my senior class of 2006.
I have no idea why I'm doing so many of these, but I wouldn't really consider this one a 'tribute'... More like taking advantage of some pictures to write a blog post.

No, I do not have nothing better to write about...
I would actually find this your regular interesting entry material. You'll see why.

Lately, classes in school have been very boring. Well, maybe boring isn't the word to describe it... The best words to describe classes at the moment are 'depressing', 'forced' and 'naptime'

I'm serious.

I can't really skip class because the teachers are giving tips and lectures on O-Levels, but at the same time I always feel duly obliged to be caught up in some dilemma, everytime the teacher mentions "SPM" obviously because I'm not studying hard enough.
In a way, you could say I feel emo over the mere mention of a word...

How's this for a Jasiminne impersonation?

Don't you readers dare say it though. I have your IP addresses and plan to do something special with them depending on the number of times you mention the dreaded three-letter 'S' word.
"Sex" is fine, the other one is taboo...

Anyway, as the pressure piles on us- the senior students- I think the one common thing we tend to forget most is after five years of being in this school, we're finally leaving.
I guess that's good because, I never did like our crap school uniforms that look like Singaporean janitor suits.
But of course, I don't really feel like I wanna leave the school just yet.

I mean, there's so much I love about school, dearly belovedhated witch-of-a-headmistress aside.
For example, the fact I have such happy (see other meaning for the word that starts with a 'G') and stoned classmates every given year.

But the best bit about this year is the position of my class- simply brilliant. The view, the angle, the space, the position.
The long walk from the assembly place to class feels much more enlightening with the view of an amazing sunrise every morning.

And it's so much better to stare out into open space during a thunder storm.
As much as you doubt it, it actually clears the mind of all study pressure, confusion and dirty thoughts.
A cleansing of the soul, as I might say. But then again I'm full of bullshit so don't listen to that part.

You wouldn't be able tounless that bit unless you were us- stuck in class for three hours, doing homework or studying when suddenly the rain pours and the cool blowing breeze justs forces us to look outside and feel that sense of home.
It may last for five seconds or so, but hey it clears the mind.

Yeah so other than the sunrise there's also the sunset, which I've never seen before from my class, but it would've been spectacular if only school ended at 7 instead of 2.
But I'm not complaining... if you're someone from the education ministry reading this, don't you dare consider to change the regulations.
Then again, I'd be out of school by the time the regulations get implemented so please, go on and torture my juniors >=D

So yeah, it also gets quite fun to get out of class in between lessons and stare cock at the people playing their little P.E. or those basketball players at the courts.

That's Jade, btw.

Anyway, nowhere else in the school will you get a stadium-like view to watch them amateurs play football or basketball in school.
Not that you'd want to, but that's besides the point.

This is our view of the court... very stadiumy

But sometimes you just get out of class hoping to see something interesting and get more than what you bargained for.

How much do you get?
Well put it this way, if you went shopping, hoping to get Prada on discount, you end up having a stranger run up to you and shove the bloody shoes into your mouth and run off.

Don't get what I mean? Check this out.

Hmmm, I wonder what they will say when they find their pictures on my blog.
That's why kids, never go do something funky without first checking if some blogger with a camera is around, you might just get posted on the internet >=D

Now let me hear you say, "Your class is awesome!"


Monday, August 14, 2006 : This Is War...
Mike says:
I feel that my popularity has gone down a bit...
I dont know if it's anything to do with
that review on Bolehland, but I'm going to keep working harder on this blog and get back to peak blogging form again, and get my readership back =D
Cheers to my readers =D

It's exam week so you guys know the drill, I won't be updating in the middle of the week.
Don't worry though, holidays are next week so at least I've got some freedom to blog then.
After that, terus exam again! I seriously need to do some serious studying.

In the mean time I feel like I've been fighting with myself for the time to study.
I mean, I'm still playing football like an athlete, I'm still partying like an animal and I'm definitely still slacking around like a stoner.

Which is what brought me to this blog topic.
I've been trying to tell myself to... skip my football and try to go out with my friends less so that I can make more time to study.

So, following up as a sequel to The Mikes back in March, this is me trying using my useless bargain skills to try to get more time to study...
I guess you could say I was practically tring to cari pasal...

As you can see, I have a very very good reason why I'm not studying my ass off yet.


Wednesday, August 09, 2006 : Selling like cold cakes
Mike says:
Sometimes you don't know how studious you really are or can be until the opportunity arises.
I skipped school today to go to the library and was surprised to find that I was really really concentrating hard for at least four out of the six hours i spent there. Not bad.

Oh and O-Levels time table is out. I won't be blogging from the 20th of November til the 4th of December. I know it's a long time from now but I'm giving apologies in advanced.
During that period, I'll probably ask
Skyler, my cousin Sharon or Cher to fill in my shoes for me.

Trials are next week so not a very long post from me today.
But anyway, I was at the Shell petrol station's petrol kiosk buying some ice cream and snacks.

That's when I realised the latest "buy 2, special discount" promotion.

Now usually, whatever being promoted on that shelf sells pretty fast because.... us Chinese people are like that- we spend our money on discounted stuff to get our money's worth, even if we don't need it.

But the thing I noticed about the Pepsi Gold promotion was that not one single bottle had been sold by sundown.
Maybe it was just me pondering, but I am curious...

...how many people got disgusted at the thought or sight of Pepsi Gold after they read my Pepsi Gold post???


Sunday, August 06, 2006 : MikeDotOrg on Bolehland
Mike says:
Omg, anyone read
this article on The Star? Bloggers beware!

I'm sure most of you have seen the review of my blog on Bolehland?
Well, here it is if you haven't...

I didn't feel like blogging today but I still felt that I should write something out for my already deteriorating readership. So what I'm doing now is I'm going to stress about what my blog really is about and try to make myself feel better about getting a one star rating.

On Bolehland, Merv (the reviewer) said that my blog came off as camwhorish. At first I kinda found that insulting, until he told me in his letter of explanaition (yes, I did write a complaint) that the camwhorish bit was where I got that rating.

Now i find that a bit wrong. Sure, Merv may respect me for being different, but I have very damn few camwhorish posts on my blog which makes me feel... well, useless.
Useless in a sense that my other posts, the ones targeted at being funny and the ones targeted at football, have been overlooked although Merv stated that he browsed my entire archives.

When I spoke to him a bit later about the review, he said that my humour, most of the time, comes off as a lil dry and hard to understand.
I can see where he's coming from because 95% of the jokes on this blog is dry dude humour.
Dude humour is the type that you watch on movies like Road Trip, Dude Where's My Car and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back.
The dry dude humour which I portray here is pretty much like what you get from those movies, only dryer because here I joke and make fun of my fiends (who mostly don't blog). So, put it this way, if you don't know me on msn, let alone personally, you probably won't get 50% of the jokes.
I can understand his frustration when reading my blog because put it this way, if bloggers were movies and we were Jim Carrey, I'd probably be Bruce Almighty and he'd be Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
The other 5% are the jokes only I find funny and nobody else is expected to laugh at it, but me...

Merv also asked me to consider the consequences I was going to face when going into mainstream blogging.
The problem with me is, my blog's very half cooked; a little jokes only my friends get here and a lil jokes everyone understands there.

The other problem he states in the review is the fact my fonts are small and I have since changed it because I have just realised how much it woul pain the eyes for someone who views the fonts in 'smaller' mode.

Also included in the review is the complaint that my blog has too many pictures, be it photos of myself or others, on my blog.
Well, I guess this part is his very own opinion. I haven't met someone so far yet, who says that my blog has too many pictures (cept for Merv, unfortunately)
But I think the exclusion of pictures from this post kinda makes up for the rest anyway...

On the other hand, he said I pulled of the whole red template well, so I guess I can be happy I have a nice and respected template everyone can deal with without 'hurting the eyes'.

So out of the five fags available for distribution, I minused one for the dry dude humour, one for the pictures overload and one for small fonts. On the other hand, I was praised for my red template and *ahem* camwhorish habits.

Doesn't that make me liable for... two fags?
Ah two fag one fag, at the end of the day still fags lah. What do you guys think?

p.s. To make me feel better, Merv told me that he would give his own blog no fags anyway. So does that mean if I give him four fags, I deserve five?