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Friday, March 10, 2006 : The Underground Tunnel in DU-DJ

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Mike says:
In loving memory of my old tomatoe red Nike Mercurial Talaria II's....
..but check out my new pair. It looks the same but it's much lighter...

btw, exams are over and the holidays have just begun...
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A week before the Malaysian Tradition's Awareness Day, during the rehearsal's break time, Seng Yau, Chiak and I decided to go to McD's in uptown DU.
The only problem was how the hell we'd get there since we were in DJ, and DU was on the other side of the LDP Highway.

There was an option though, we could walk through the underground jejantas to the other side.
Although I've never done it before, Seng Yau said that the place was dark as hell, smelly as hell and people have gotten raped down there before since it's so damn dark.

Alot of thoughts ran through my head when he said that,
"Is hell dark?"
"Is hell smelly?"
"Holy shit, dude! What if I got raped down there? I don't want my exit hole to become an entry hole man!"

As Chiak and Seng Yau started to walk towards the long road leading to the tunnel, I stopped them.
"Dude should we get a taxi?" I asked nervously.
"You fuck la! Waste money onli! Walk can oledi la! Nabeh!" said a very kiamsap Chiak.
"WALK ah? Sure anot?" I asked again.
"What, you scared people rape you ah?! Noone wanna rape u la!" said Chiak again.
"Yealor! Who wanna rape you la? Look so damn fugly oso.." added Seng Yau.

Gee friend, thanks alot.

I mean what's so unattractive about me. I can be sexy right? I mean I can look sexy doing anything, even peeing!

How sexy is THAT? I should be on the cover for Playgirl for this...

Anyway, sorry I digress.
So we proceeded to walk to the tunnel, towards a huge flight of stairs down into the dark walkway.

As we walked down, the smell got abruptly worse, like if you think the car-exhaust-cum-hawker-stall smell was bad, you probably are a stupid city slicker that don't know no shit.
I'm talking raw deal, fucked up, pissed about bad smell here. Put it this way, it's skunk heaven.

Apparently, it's so dark that people PEE here and noone would stop and stare because of the darkness. The pee then dries up, becomes black, stale and rotten, then people pee on it again. And this unique cycle goes on...

The black stuff IS the pee....

So we reached the walkway after struggling down those 23 steps of torcher. When we got down, the smell had reached it's climax and even the Man of Steel, Chiak, was pounding his chest to start breathing again.

After halfway walking through the long walkway, I got immune to the smell and let loose to look arond.

"What the fuck, man? It's not dark down here at all.." I said.
"They must have added lights lor," replied Seng Yau.
"Hey dudes, check it out wei!" suddenly Chiak screamed as he always does.

He pulled our attention to the walls.

Like dude, check out the graffiti. We were walking for about a minute and had not even noticed the drawings on the wall. Nice art, I tell you...

But unfortunately the beautiful drawings occupied only half of one side of the wall. Nowonder we hadn't noticed it earlier.

We made our way outside a couple of minutes later and DAMN did I miss the sweet smell of city air.

We proceeded to have lunch at McD's and then to Starbucks, talking about the terrible smell of the underground tunnel and how it would be the perfect spot for a typical Asian horror movie like Ju-On and Ringu. Or maybe even a darkly-themed action thriller movie like Collateral.

That's when I asked the most potong stim question of the day.
"So how do we get back?"

~*~*~*~*~*~
In an urban-suburban place like Damansara, I still can't believe that this tunnel hasn't been renovated to look or at least smell nicer.
But I guess noone would want to wash it. Even if you paid that person a million bucks to do it, he won't do it alone.
By year 2020, I do hope to see this place renovated or else it would be a huge disappointment.

2 Comments:

Anonymous said...: lu forgoten about being robbed la, got many ppl kena robbed down there also

and nobody's gonna clean that place up... unless damansara get's hit by supa dupa 4 day non -stop heavy rain and gets flooded, that place'll nvr be clean XD; March 10, 2006 5:33 PM
Anonymous said...: -_-pussies i walked in there when the floor was fucking flooded

alone too but looks like the grafiti has changed

and the piss isn't black it's juz the thriving ecosystem fed by the piss in the ammonia....; March 10, 2006 8:52 PM

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